Until Saturday I wasn't certain that I really belonged in the Lib Dems (or any party for that matter). My views are often met with condescension or even hostility for not being of a particular school of thought. So, this being the case, I went along to the north-west conference intent on ruffling some feathers to see how people responded.
I can't say I was feeling brazen when I got there, but early on I spotted a face I'd seen before: Clive People. I told Clive my desire to test the waters and we spoke about the wide net of the Liberal Democrats. I chose to quietly reserve judgement and filed this as a mark in favour.
The conference kicked off with man-of-the-hour Tim Farron delivering a speech of predictable content but surprising vigour. I think the best insight I got for my own purpose was when Tony Greaves spoke about 'Corbynism' and described it as old labour plus a new faction of 'radical social progressives', some of which may have voted Green in frustration at the establishment and now saw Corbyn as the potential champion of democracy. Eventually, he said, these people would see labour for the irreconcilably anti-democratic body that it is and perhaps look elsewhere. Little did he know there was such a person in the audience already looking.
The final push off the fence came when John Pugh talked about the party's massive parliamentary losses this year. He was open and frank about what happened and why, there was no blame-the-other game played by labour. For the Lib Dems at least, the Westminster Bubble has well and truly burst.
So, after my first party conference, I can say with certainty that I am a Liberal Democrat. I've started at the end of the story though, so I'll now outline what brought me here.
My earliest memory of any political opinion is a deep respect for Charles Kennedy, I was disappointed to see him step down. Nevertheless in 2010 i cast my first general election vote for the Lib Dems but when Nick Clegg squandered the opportunity for real electoral reform by denouncing Gordon Brown and letting the Tories get their ideological claws back into Downing Street again, I felt betrayed.
I turned away from politics, I had bigger concerns: I failed out of school and multiple jobs before being diagnosed with ADHD /Autism after more than two years trying to see an expert and get medication. Part of my problems are my memory, but I think this was around 2010; I do recall thinking how typical it was that when I finally might be able to work, the job market shriveled.
It wasn't that simple of course, I basically had to learn how to think all over again. During this time I tried my luck with ESA and spent over a year on appeal. I had help from 'Mind' and the BDDA pretty much handled the appeal for me. When it finally came through and I was placed in the support group I received the arrears payments -- more money in one go than I had survived on in the whole year previous -- of which I gave about half away immediately to more needy people. This experience saw me very frustrated at the establishment and pretty far to the left.
Being in the ESA support group left me more than four times better off but no less jaded. This coincided with my first year back at sixth form college, trying to get my A-levels and move on with my life. Over the internet I was really beginning to become one of these 'radical social progressives' Baron Greaves mentioned at conference.
What split me from the pack, I think, was the #GamerGate controversy. Most people in the neo-progressive sphere were ready and willing to assume that 'Gamers' were a bunch of misogynistic hate-mongers but I knew better. At first I rationalized this discrepancy such that surely it was a minority of gamers and that GamerGaters were a different breed, but the more involved I got the more it seemed that it was actually the anti-GG groups that spewed the most hate and perpetrated illiberal acts of censorship and social control. There's even a young man in Canada at the moment awaiting trial for internet "harassment" (disagreeing with some so-called feminists who wanted to deliberately bully someone they didn't like to suicide).
I got my head back into liberalism somewhat by watching videos from people I initially disagreed with strongly but I felt that was exactly what I aught to be looking for. Most prominently YouTubers "Liana K", "Sargon of Akkad", and more recently Professor Gad Saad of Concordia University. Generally the circles that led me to these people call the 'radical social progressives' "Social Justice Warriors" or "SJW's". In particular Sargon of Akkad has put some effort into explaining to people prone to equating all the left as 'Liberal' that true Liberalism is very different from the ideology espoused by the people Professor Saad likes to call 'regressives'.
So I was back on board with Liberalism, and again proud to identify as one. Even so, by the 2015 general election my conversion was not really complete and I hadn't forgotten my feelings of betrayal from how the coalition was formed, so I voted Green. I think the vast majority of the public were very disappointed with the result but the one part that did not even slightly surprise me was the near annihilation of The Liberal Democrats. When Paddy Ashdown said he'd eat his hat I thought "well you're going to have to eat it, then!"
To my shame I was not willing to even consider voting Lib Dem again, but then Nick Clegg stepped down and I first saw Tim Farron speak. I thought about it for maybe a day before joining the party to vote for him. Though then my loyalty was split between Farron and Corbyn, both seemed to be a friend to people like me. I registered as a labour supporter and voted for Corbyn, though in that case it was more out of disgust at the prospect of the opposition being led by people who thought their best bet was to agree with the Tories about everything and be pushed around by the press. As the campaign wore on I grew to like Corbyn more, but I also began to like New Labour even less than I had done before if you can imagine.
So finally we arrive where I began telling the story. The conclusion? Well, I am still rather sympathetic to Corbyn, if it ends up a choice of red or blue i'll take red every time no matter what some will say from the comfort of their warm homes and their certainty of their next meal. At the end of it all though I'm a Liberal Democrat through and through. I might like Corbyn for now, but the Lib Dems will always be the home I come back to from now on.
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